先日、バイブルスタディーに参加しているローリング・ヒルズ・コブナント教会に、日本から小児科医でいらした藤井圭子さんという方が講演に来てくださいました。講演で話を聞いたときは、涙があふれてどうしようもないほどでした。この本は、藤井先生の数ある著書の中の最初の一冊。この一冊は、その講演の内容を詳しく綴ったもの。若かりし日は、医学の勉強と平行して仏教学を勉強し、医学部卒業後は医学の道を断念し、得度剃髪し尼僧となり、その後も尼僧道場の舎監兼教師にまでなるが、仏教のなかには、求めていた確かなもの、絶対のもの、永遠なるもの、絶対聖なるものをどうしても見出すことができず失意のうちに還俗し、小児科医に復帰。のちに結婚し、二児の母となるが、結婚生活はバラ色ではなく、心の通わない夫に失望する日々。ご主人は体が弱く入退院を繰り返し、その看病に通いながらも「いやだなあ、行きたくないなあ」と思う自分がおり、それが嫌でたまらないにもかかわらず、その気持ちをどうすることもできず苦しむ日々。そんな中、自宅の隣にできた教会に足を運ぶようになり、イエス・キリストに出会います。冷え切った夫婦関係、偽善で行う夫の介護という生活から、神様に真理を見つけ、お互いに「ありがとう」と感謝をもって交われる二人に変えられるまでのすごいお話が綴られています。イエス様を信じ従うもののひとりとして、私もとても励まされました。藤井先生の神様への信頼は、ゆるぎがなく躊躇がなく疑いの一切ないもので、その信頼のなかに施される神様の御業は美しく哀れみ深いものです。 最近読んだどの本よりも、心を大きく打たれました。「輝く日を仰ぐとき」 藤井 圭子著 一粒社I had a chance to listen to a testimony by Keiko Fujii, a pediatrician in Japan, at Rolling Hills Covenant Church, where I go every Tuesday (and some Sundays) for a bible study. Her testimony was so powerful that I simply could not hold my tears. This book was a longer version of her testimony, and the very first of the many books authored by her. When she was at the medical school, she also studied Buddhism through a correspondence course. When she finished the medical school, she decided to give up the career as a doctor and joined a temple in Kyoto to become a nun. After years of training, she was even offered a position as a teacher at a nun school, however after all she ended up leaving Buddhism behind in despair to go back to the mundane world, since she was not able to find the truth she had been searching for. She returned to her career as a pediatrician, got married and became a mother of two. Her family life was not a rosy one, however. The couple did not have a warm relationship. Her husband had also been suffering from various health problems, and while she was taking care of her husband on a daily basis, she was aware of the hypocrisy inside her, since she was doing so simply because she had to. However hard she worked to stop the hypocrisy and to want to serve her husband, she did not have any control. In a meantime, she was guided to a church which was built right next to her home, and finally confessed her trust in Jesus Christ. In the book is a detailed story of a change made possible by the God, from the time she suffered from the cold relationship with her husband and the hypocrisy in her towards him, to the time when they were truly thankful to each other and love each other. I felt so much encouraged and strengthened by her experience of the living God. His job on her family was full of love and simply beautiful.
"Kagayaku hi wo aogutoki" by Keiko Fujii
